Fall

I see self development as an act of love, not self improvement 🖤 

It feels like the old world is crumbling at our feet and we are forced to look at what is not working, what has never been working, what is dying, both in terms of our own identity and as a collective, we mirror each other. As above so below. It’s all connected. 

I have been attenting magician school since May at Det Kosmiske Selskab. And since I got my reiki initiation in July, things have been going down for me personally. I am saying goodbye to some fundamental parts of my identity, which seems appropriate with fall approaching.

This month I did a residency at Kirsten Kjærs museum in Thy, together with a wonderful group of artists that I have an exhibition with next summer. It’s a really long project, which seems to be letting us go deep with each other, but also forcing us to consider who we are, what we want and where we are going together - or not. Long projects can be confrontational in that way, and beautiful. 

I became aware of some old unconscious patterns of mine on this trip, both patterns of insecurity and patterns of over-diplomatic, pleasing, behavior. Patterns that are fear based.

Avoidance is a strategy I use to “not feel”, so when I feel avoidant towards something, I try to handle it anyway, because whatever I am afraid to feel - weather pain or pleasure - whatever my nervous system is afraid to feel - that is exactly what is capping my potential (and my income too…)

So I booked a time with Anjuska (my reiki master) and I will dive head first into whatever it is I fear, so that I can consciously decide if these patterns get to play a part in my life or not, so that I get a chance to meet myself in my most unapologetic form.

I found some sentences I have told myself in the last couple of days. Maybe you want to say them with me? As we step into the fall and shed old identities.

It is safe for me to feel failure

It is safe for me to make mistakes (with money and people and art) 

It is safe for me to slow down 

It is safe for me to be who I am

I am always in the right place at the right time.